Easter Reflections

During this phase of my life I do a lot of reflection. On the past, on the present and definitely the future! I am starting to realize that I want to become the person God has created me to be in the second half of my life. I guess according to statistics my life is "half over". Ha ha. Sounds funny to me! I feel like a 20 year old.

Anyway, my mid life re-evaluation will be a productive healthy thing. I will not get tatoos or piercings or even a red corvette! (Although I really want a red Mini Cooper with white racing stripes!) I look at who I've been in the past, and sometimes with regret I mourn the loss of friends I've made irreversible mistakes with. I have learned from those mistakes and will NEVER make the same one twice. I do wish I could go back to my 20's sometimes and be less selfish. I didn't realize just how selfish I was then.

Now that I am older and hopefully wiser, I want God to make me the woman He wants me to be. I want to fulfill His purposes for my life. I want to reflect Him to those around me. Like the moon reflects the sun. I have no "light" in me other than His light. I think I can be a reflector! I can do that. I am submitted to Him and His will. Not much else matters to me.

In relationships, I am learning that God has a "will" for me too. Maybe I feel too much or too deeply sometimes, but I'd rather be a passionate person with real thoughts and opinions than a person without a "personality". I may not always agree with you but I will be agreeable, to the best of my ability. I want to be a light. Whatever it takes. I just don't want to fade into the background. I want to have a voice. I need to be heard...which is what Oprah says she has learned about every human being. We want to be heard.

My opinion is not more important than anyone else's though. If you differ, I am okay with that. I can differ with people and still be completely respectful of their personhood. If you disagree with me about an issue, it's okay, and I can hear and appreciate your opinion. I will not belittle you or make you feel bad for disagreeing with me. One thing we are all entitled to is an opinion, right?

So, since Jesus died to make my life and yours completely fulfilled and meaningful, let's stop bickering over petty things. His death, burial and ressurection was for more than this. It is not what the life in Christ is all about. I hope I can be a peacemaker and a light to those around me. Happy Easter friends!

The "Clique"

I'm a bit behind the curve with female friendships. I didn't have a "clique" in High School that I belonged to because I despised that type of mentality. Actually, that is why I didn't become a cheerleader in HS. I was a cheerleader up until that point of my life. In HS it was more like a club. I didn't want to be in a club where the girls somehow thought they were better than others because they were pretty or whatever. I still feel that way. I don't identify with one group, I like everyone, from all walks of life. The word "clique" means; a small, exclusive circle of people. Many times, within adult groups, I don't believe this is the intent, for a clique to form I mean. Usually it is a group of people who have some common interests who get together socially. Everyone is welcome, but after a while, only certain people get the "invitation". Others are inevitably left out. About a year ago my husband and I were trying to form a group of friends that we could socialize with once a month for a dinner club. It was fun while it lasted, but of course it came to it's inevitable end. I also started doing a girls night out with whoever wanted to join us. I believe it ended because it wasn't God's plan for me. Like I said, we were trying to form friendships. I wasn't aware of the formation of a clique, but I'm sure some people viewed it as such. It's a different view...from the outside looking in. I am no longer interested in going out with groups of people. I think that is the stage my oldest daughter is in. (she's 13) She will hang out with groups of girls and socialize that way. I am in a stage of life where I am trusting God to lead me in my friendships. I only go out one-on-one now unless it's a movie or something where the opportunity to socialize is not really there. I know I am getting to know these people better. I enjoy it more and feel more connected to my friends this way. I guess I am saying all of this because I've been thinking about how cliques form lately. I see them at work and at church and...well, pretty much everywhere! It's not for me. Well, to each his own, but I know the friends I have are gifts from God and I treasure each one of you! This is not an "exclusive" group! There's always room for more! : )